The world has become loud and demanding, and we are reworking our experiences with our mind to quell the overwhelm. “You will come to see that the mind talks all the time because you gave it a job to do. You use it as a protection mechanism, a form of defence. Ultimately, it makes you feel more secure…In the name of attempting to hold the world together, you’re really just trying to hold yourself together” (Michael A. Singer, Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, p 13).

I believe that since the pandemic, we have slowly allowed our brains to re-wire. There has been an uptick in fear, a decrease in human interactions, and an increase in technology use. This trifecta has re-wired our brains. We have shifted into a self-absorbed society. We have become a group of people who feel a need to self-protect. We are not selfish beings, but our deep need to protect ourselves blinds us from caring for others. As Singer explains, we are trying to hold ourselves together. When our energy is spent on ‘just making it through the day’, we lack the capacity to see and respond to the needs of others. This survival mechanism has resulted in insulating ourselves from the needs of others and fostering a fearful attitude, as protective armour. We have individually become part of an energy-starved cycle in society.

Our brain plays a key factor in our emotions and our need to conserve our “soul-energy”. In the book Quiet by Susan Cain, she explores studies done by Solomon Asch (a psychologist) and Gregory Berns (a neuroscientist) exploring decision making in group mentalities. The exploration examined the frontal cortex of the brain and the amigdilla activation. The studies discovered that group pressure slows our frontal cortex decision making and rewires our thinking. The study revealed an even deeper finding about people who spoke up for what they thought was right despite the group mentality. Those who actively disagreed with the group, choosing the correct answer, had a heightened amigdilla response for fight or flight.

Our interactions with the media are providing us with a daily stream of group opinions. We are being rapidly overloaded with group pressures from a variety of random sources. Our brains are naturally translating all this information into how we fit into the equation (even if we really don’t belong in the picture). Social media contains the magic of music and images that nudge our emotions and direct our thinking in an unconscious way. Most times we are not even aware of how group pressure is impacting our moment by moment lives.

Take this one step further, teachers are standing up for what we believe to be right for our students and the health of society, and we are sometimes a dissenting voice within society. With the rise of cell phones, AI and other societal elements we feel like we are standing alone, trying to find answers to questions we have never faced before. We have a “primitive, powerful and unconscious feeling of rejection” (Cain). The amygdala continues to be activated as we watch the technological and social fall out from the pandemic.

At our core we feel unsafe. We feel unease in our guts. Something is wrong, but we feel powerless to change it. We try to take back power with rules, regulations and structure. We are trying to feel safe in a world that continues to feel unregulated and unsteady. Control is not the answer.

I am safe. It is just my brain’s fear of rejection that is giving me the fight or flight sensation. Once I can recognise what my brain is doing and how it is trying to protect me, I can start to re-wire and re-direct my thinking. When I know that I am safe, the noise in my mind will slow.

If the noise in your head continues to be loud, there is nothing wrong with you. You are aware that you need to recharge. You need to slow down. You need to recognise that you are safe in this present moment. You need to stop pleasing others. You need to remind yourself that you are safe and you are loved. You are exactly where you need to be.

I believe that the wounds that we are feeling hold the power of transformation. Our experiences need to be unpacked and embraced. Transformation is life changing. The wounded one holds the power to choose if the transformation will elicit good or bad results. Rumi says, “The wound is the place where the light enters you” – but it is a personal choice to allow the light in.

Open the Window of Tolerance Challenge Four: Unplug. Don’t check your socials. Don’t post. Work your way up to unplugging for a week. Do an emotional check-in to start recognising how the media has been directing your thoughts or fuelling your emotions.

Open the Window of Tolerance Challenge Five: Connect with friends. Connect with people that make you feel loved and safe. Do something that is low commitment, but high on fun. Engage in conversation that results in smiles. Laughter is part of the healing transformation.

Photo Credit: 愚木混株 Yumu on Unsplash