On the eve of autumn, as back to school signs bombarded me, my imagination wandered into my classroom and visited the students who would occupy the seats. I mentally time travelled to staff meetings and the preparation of rubrics and lessons. As a planner, I have a busy brain. I need to wisely prepare for the future, but boundary myself to live in the now: I strive for balance. A lack of planning hinders my movement forward; however, if I rigidly stick to a plan, I can miss the beauty and learning that is in my present moment.

During the pandemic I started living by the saying, “Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.” My time travelling, planner’s brain started to rewire my nervous system to always be prepared for the worst. Negative scenarios played out in my imagination, as a safety mechanism. My thoughts and plans slowly moved from sunshine to darkness. I started to think the worst of each situation -to hold myself together- a type of insurance policy that gave me that false security that I could handle what may be coming.

I believe that we notice what we look for. For example, if you look for red cars during your drive to work, you will notice all of them. You will count them and retain that information. If you don’t prepare yourself to look for red cars, you will complete your commute without a notice, care or thought of red cars.

With the knowledge that I cannot change my circumstances or control that which is beyond myself, I have continued to alter myself. I have embraced a self-transformation that has started with a mindset shift. If I notice that my mind begins to time-travel to the future, I choose to mentally play out the best case scenario (inspired a Nikki Dyer mediation).

In short, I want to find the shiny red cars that will brighten my day. I want to look for the good in my day. To change my circumstances, I need to change my mind. I have started to become consciously aware of the thoughts that are moving through my mind. I have also started to protect the ecology of my mind by limiting and filtering negative media consumption. I am consciously slowing down with the recognition that I need to pay attention to my habits and be willing to question my instinctual actions.

I believe as humans we are somehow all connected. I have no control over parents, administrators, colleagues, or students. They are in control of their own actions and their own brain ecology. However, I am very aware that my emotions & actions have a deep impact upon my classroom setting. For example, if I walk into my classroom projecting peace, calm, ease, and unconditional love the students can see these emotions on my face and feel that in my responses. The opposite is true. If I am struggling and feeling stressed or overwhelmed these emotions will project into the classroom. As within, so without: if I am peaceful, I will project peace, and I will attract peace. I believe that we can attract that which we project.

Emotions are contagious. If I feel joy, I can bring that happiness to a group of people. Smiles are a universal contagion: you have to try hard to not reciprocate a smile.

When I morph these ideas together, I am left with an understanding that when my mind starts preparing my day ahead I need to start seeing students who are excited to be in class. I see them willingly engaged in the lesson. For example, if I have a student with behaviour issues, I envision that I smile at her and thank her for doing her work that day. If I am responding to a parent email, I am assuming that it is being written out of care and love for their child. I am mentally choosing to live my best life twice.

As a teacher I am:

• releasing control
• explaining the content
• providing the steps
• setting boundaries
• allowing choice
• teaching self-regulation

I cannot force a flower to bloom. I see each of my students as a garden. I can water, provide the sunshine and help pick the weeds; but I cannot force the bloom. This way of thinking has allowed me to recognise that I can’t save every kid. I am not the sole gardener in this student’s life. I am here to tend the garden and offer love and care to each little sprout. I am here to teach content. Share my wisdom and experience. Each student is on their own journey and ready for information at different times. The stages of growth are varied. Our classrooms contain such a varied group of flowers: some are still bulbs/seeds, some are just budding out of the ground, and others are in full bloom. I recognise that I cannot force a flower to bloom, but I can bring daily sunshine into their lives.

Please understand that all of these ideas come with boundaries and balance. Love is unconditional. Mistakes are learning that move towards growth, but boundaries and consequences are still part of my daily classroom. (see past posts about boundaries)

I share these thoughts with the knowledge that I am happier and laughter has returned to my classroom. I hope the same for you.

Open the Window of Tolerance Challenge Six: Protect the ecosystem of your brain. Be aware of what information is filtering in and how it makes you feel. Be aware that you can control what you read, see and listen to.

Open the Window of Tolerance Challenge Seven: Before you get out of bed in the morning remind yourself of the following:

• you are exactly where you need to be today;
• your attitude is contagious;
• the universe is for you and so is everything else;
• life is intended to be lived with ease.

Photo Credit: Christina Deravedisian on Unsplash